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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282892">I'll Have It all, Even Your Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingsmile/pseuds/changingsmile'>changingsmile</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A3! (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Act 8 Spoilers, M/M, Snowballing, Spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24282892</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingsmile/pseuds/changingsmile</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you not want to strip me? You were so quick to rip my clothes off last time.”<br/>“I was desperate then.”<br/>“You’re not now?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Citron/Utsuki Chikage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Have It all, Even Your Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>* Set during Citron and Guy's party at the end of Act 8<br/>* Italics in quotes = Zahran</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>    Chikage’s self control was slipping. He had done so well in Zahra. He was mindful that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, Itaru is here too </span>
  </em>
  <span>when he finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally </span>
  </em>
  <span>was close to Citron after months. In his mind’s eye when he ran through the scenario of their reunion, no one else was there. Only him, the man he’d been pining for silently, and the overwhelming need to map out Citron’s entire body with his hands and ensure that he was real. The reality was him and Itaru having to quickly rescue Citron from burning alive and him not having an opportunity to steal Citron away with everyone scrambling for his attention. He feels guilty for how calm he acted. In truth Chikage wanted nothing more than to drag Citron away and monopolize his time. It frightened him. His emotions were supposed to be safely tucked away from the surface, but the longer he was with Mankai the more difficult that became. Part of him was relieved at the thought, but another...he had to wonder if he was deserving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Initially he tried to focus on his anger at Citron for leaving him behind. For leaving right when Chikage was preparing to be honest about his feelings for him. After going back and forth on if someone like him, a person with his past, with the amount of blood on his hands deserved Citron. He knew thoughts like that were foolish then and especially now. Never had Citron recoiled when Chikage divulged the horrors of his background, the horrors he more or less still participated in. All he was given was acceptance and a look from Citron that hinted at wisdom and knowledge beyond his years. Unsurprising, now that he is aware of the depth of Citron’s own struggles and hardships.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    The act of betrayal cuts deep and even deeper when it’s family. Chikage knows this all too well, but unfortunately for Citron there was no misunderstanding. The ugly truth of what his brothers plotted was one he had to accept. It was funny, almost. Chikage had no reason to be angered yet he planned a revenge plot while Citron fully intended on letting his brothers go on without suspicion. That saint like behaviour was what had Chikage putting Citron on an unwanted pedestal, but that wasn’t right. Citron had his own faults and emotions he was working through and Chikage wanted to be there for him as an equal. He had shared a fair amount of his own baggage with the other already. It was his turn to be someone Citron could lean on for emotional matters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    But right now what was on the forefront of his mind was fucking him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Citron sleeping with him the night before he left was cruel. What was even crueler was Citron not allowing him to speak his feelings aloud. Said it would make leaving more difficult, but wasn’t that what Chikage wanted? To make it harder on him? He had to rely on his overeager hands to convey his longing and desperation. His kisses were greedy and his fingers pressed into Citron’s soft skin with the intent to bruise. He so desperately wanted to leave </span>
  <em>
    <span>something </span>
  </em>
  <span>behind so he couldn’t be forgotten as soon as Citron landed in his home country. Before he knew it Citron was waking him up to sneak out. Untangling his limbs and separating from Citron’s warmth was agony. The regret he felt from indulging himself was only offset by Citron mindlessly pressing on the bruises Chikage had left. The months of his absence were littered with explicit dreams that he was much too old to be having. Especially about someone he could not have (even if he was seriously planning a way to go to Zahra even before Mankai decided to). Tortured by thoughts of Citron whether he was conscious or not. How befitting of the greedy man he fell in love with. It seemed as if he was not alone in his longing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    While lost in his fantasies, the center of them slid next to him and placed a hand on his thigh. The heat of his hand burned through his pants and was much too close to his crotch for polite company. He didn’t move away. Citron’s voice was low enough to get drowned out by the chatter of the other actors, but was much too loud for Chikage who had been hanging off of his every word and action all night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Every moment that I was away, I thought of you. Of our night together.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>If you asked Chikage if it was the puff of warm air or Citron’s words that had him barely repressing a shiver, he wouldn’t be able to answer. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you thought of me too.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>    The warmth of his breath and hand was gone all too quickly. Smiling brightly and voice back to its original tone, Citron announced that he would be going to bed early. There were some protests since he was leaving his own party, but he was allowed to leave without much fuss. Once everyone went back to their conversations Citron tossed a coy smile in Chikage’s direction then walked away.  Well that was an invitation if Chikage had ever seen one. He sighed and pushed up his glasses. After waiting a few minutes he slinked after Citron. They definitely were going to get found out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    Citron was loitering by Chikage’s room door. Maybe this will be payback for Itaru tagging along with him during his reunion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “You came!” Citron’s voice was all too peppy for what he had been alluding too not even 10 minutes prior. Chikage was charmed nonetheless. He moved until he had Citron backed up against a wall. Unable to resist Chikage immediately lay his hands on the man’s hips and gave a squeeze. Without missing a beat Citron’s arms wrapped around his shoulders and tugged him forward so there was no longer any space between their bodies. Chikage exhaled slowly before speaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “How could I have not?” he paused taking a moment to press his face against the bare skin of Citron’s neck. Lips brushing the sensitive skin along his choker. “I planned so much to say yet here I am and all that I want to do is -” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Then do it.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chikage’s breath hitched. There it was. That tone again.”</span>
  <em>
    <span>We have time to speak tomorrow. I’m not going anywhere this time, but right now what I need,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Citron’s hips canted forward, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Is you inside of me.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>The pressure wasn’t nearly enough for Chikage yet he could feel himself starting to get hard embarrassingly fast. Who’s to say he wasn’t already halfway there when Citron had whispered in his ear earlier. He was losing himself all too quickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Before he really did give in to his needs in the hallway, Chikage pulled away. The last thing he wanted was for the director to kick him out for fucking the man of the hour where anyone could see. With urgency he opened his room door, ushered Citron inside, locked the door, then roughly pushed him against it. His hands reclaimed their spot on Citron’s hips and the other let out a small sound once Chikage pressed their lips together firmly. Citron seemed like he wanted to say something but Chikage didn’t allow their kissing to cease for longer than a moment. He seemed to give up and wordlessly tugged on Chikage’s jacket indicating he wanted it off. Without elegance it was tugged off and thrown to the side by Chikage, who did not want his hands off of Citron. Citron slid hands under Chikage’s turtleneck moving up and up until his top was blocked from going any further. With an irritated noise Chikage separated once again and tossed his shirt in the same direction. Warms hands on his chest stopped him from moving forward and he gave Citron an irritated look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Do you not want to strip me? You were so quick to rip my clothes off last time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “I was desperate then.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “You’re not now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    He had a point. Initially he had planned to somewhat take his time once they were reunited, but now that the time had come he couldn’t be bothered. So why not listen and strip the other...or better yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Chikage backed away a few steps to lean against the arm of the couch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “I want to see you do it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Oh? A personal show from a royal? Aren’t you lucky?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>    To be joking around even at a time like this… </span>
  </em>
  <span>His train of thought cut short at the outlayer of Citron’s outfit slipping down his shoulders to the floor. Then his waist tie, the less exciting precursor to Citron’s shoulders being exposed, then his lightly toned stomach, followed by his legs. Soon his clothes were kicked to join Chikage’s in a heap and only Citron’s accessories were left. He was fully hard now. Just from some kissing and seeing Citron naked. Chikage would feel more shame if the other wasn’t in a similar state. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    His hands moved to unbutton his pants but they got batted away. Confusion morphed into understanding at seeing Citron drop to his knees. This was new. He didn’t do this last time. Part of Chikage wondered if Citron had any experience. Another felt as if his relationship with Guy was suspicious. He didn’t want to think about that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    The heel of Citron palm ground into his erection in an agonizing circle through the layers of his clothes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “It’s not often that I kneel for others. Consider it an apology...and a thank you.” Citron’s voice was a little too affectionate for a man who had a dick so close to his face, but who was Chikage to judge. He was one slipup away from saying something disgustingly sentimental. Thankfully he was freed from his pants and had a large hand wrapping around him before he could say something embarrassing. His body betrayed him in other ways like immediately twitching in Citron’s hand and having a drop a precum trail down his member. The second betrayal could be forgiven since it caused an all too hot tongue to follow it’s trail to the tip. Once at the head, soft lips enveloped it completely and sucked as Citron’s tongue circled around it.  Both of his hands were grabbed and urged to entangle into long, sandy hair. He needed the anchor he realized once Citron made eye contact and slowly worked his way down till his lips were pressed against his quivering stomach and the tip of Chikage’s cock was nestled in his throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “...fuck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>    Yeah it really didn’t matter where Citron got his experience from </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thought, hands tightening in his hair. As long as he was benefitting in this way there was no room to be jealous. His hips tried to lurch forward to get even deeper, but a firm grip on his hips stopped him. Citron pulled away lips suctioning the whole time before he separated with a slurp that had Chikage’s hips trying to move forward again. Somehow even on his knees after deepthroating a man Citron had a commanding presence as he stared Chikage down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m in control right now. Don’t try that again without permission.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chikage nodded robotically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Good boy.” Without warning he was completely enveloped in the wet heat of Citron’s mouth. It was a cheap trick. To call Chikage that and then immediately deepthroat him as if he wanted Chikage to disobey. It took digging his teeth into his cheek to stop himself. Citron swallowed around him a few times before starting a steady pace. It wasn't nearly fast enough, but no matter how much Chikage wanted to chase his own pleasure he refrained. Was it in the hopes of Citron praising him again? His dick leaked at the thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really? A praise kink? Citron is going to have a field day with that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>    Citron’s pulled off again but this time his hand wrapped around Chikage and kept up his rhythm so the stimulation didn’t stop. Plush lips lay messy kisses along his length and Chikage swore something had to be wrong with him. If it weren’t for the firm hand on his hip and the couch arm his legs would have given out long ago. Every lick and suck was pushing him closer and closer to release. He carded Citron’s bangs back to get a better view of his flushed face and that only brought him to the edge even more. Citron was able to rile him up so easily. He had to stop him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “C-Citron. Pull off. Please.” The last word was said with a whine that Chikage would deny later. “I’m close.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Unfortunately for Chikage his words were taken as a challenge. Citron swallowed him to the base and held his head there before starting a pace that had Chikage spilling soon after. Citron held eye contact his entire orgasm, hands and thighs twitching at the final hard suck. He didn’t get time to catch his breath before Citron was kissing him. The hand gripping his jaw was damp but that was overshadowed by the bitterness that was being pushed into his mouth by a fervent tongue. Groaning in realization, Chikage obediently let Citron force him to swallow his own release. He weakly circled his arms around the other as Citron controlled the pace of their kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Chikage felt his bottom lip get nipped and then Citron was pulling back all too soon. The grip on his jaw loosened and gentle fingers traced the side of his reddened face instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re beautiful like this.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Chikage had to question Citron’s taste. There was no way his messy face and skewed glasses were attractive, let alone beautiful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Another night I want to take you apart, but tonight I need you to embrace me.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chikage wiped his mouth and fixed his glasses in an attempt to ground himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Right. Citron. He hasn’t been touched this entire time. </span>
  </em>
  <span> He cleared his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Bed or couch?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “I’m too impatient to climb.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Right…” Chikage didn’t have enough faith in his legs to carry him up anyways. Instead he held onto Citron tightly and fell backwards onto the couch cushions. Hearing Citron’s surprised yelp had him muffling a laugh in his hair. He then flipped them over so Citron was on his back and dug lube out of the cushions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Hidden item!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “I came across it stashed away awhile back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Ah, so a stolen item.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “I’m sure he won’t mind.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chikage slid his glasses off and placed them on the table beside them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Aw I like those.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “You know I don’t need them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Yes! But I have...What do you call it? ..A megane fetish.” Chikage rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “We can indulge you another day.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Citron pouted but didn’t object and let Chikage spread his legs, hooking one over his shoulder. He leaned forward until Citron’s thigh was pressed against his chest and muttered out “Hm. Flexible.” before kissing him. Whenever they kissed Chikage felt as if he could be satisfied with just that for hours. However the man under him was impatiently wriggling and making frustrated noises, he should hurry it along he supposed. He shifted to give himself space to work and poured lube onto his fingers. The bottle got tossed aside as slick fingers circled Citron’s entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Impatient, Citron pushed his hips towards Chikage’s fingers to urge him along. Chikage took the hint and slid a finger in. His brows furrowed. He slipped in two more fingers. Bewildered, his eyes moved to see Citron looking very satisfied with himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “How..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Before my invitation,” Citron shifted so Chikage’s fingers went deeper. “I prepared myself for you.” Chikage shook his head, equal parts bemused and in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “How cheeky. You were that sure I’d follow after you?” CItron’s grin widened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Your blazing gaze was on me all night.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “It’s ‘heated’.” Was all that he replied with before crooking his fingers directly into the other’s prostate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Citron’s hips were rolling in an attempt to control Chikage’s pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “</span>
  <em>
    <span>If you’re going to finger me needlessly, at least make it worthwhile.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>    Not in the mood to tease either, Chikage’s fingers stroked and rubbed inside Citron steadily. He made sure to focus on the spot that made Citron’s breathing heavy and eyes hazy. Once again he thanked whatever deity that may be out there for pitying him because only divine intervention would grant him the fortune of being able to see Citron so intimately of being responsible for his pleasure. And a Citron that was fully focused on grinding onto Chikage’s fingers, who was glistening with a light sheen of sweat and whose hair was messy from Chikage’s hands, was a sight that could only be described as a blessing. He was undeserving. He needed to be inside him /now/. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>   Citron’s whine of disappointment was almost as endearing as his expectant look when he felt Chikage’s tip brush against him. Without waiting a beat longer Chikage slid inch by inch with a wavering exhale. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How did I ever get through three months without this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>    He moved Citron’s other leg over his shoulder and folded him in half to get as deep as possible. It was when Citron blearily made eye contact that the rest of his self control withered away. He angled his hips to where he remembered Citron’s prostate to be and began a punishing pace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    He wasn’t going to last long and from Citron’s sounds he wasn’t either. Under his breath he was cursing in his native tongue. He’d occasionally interrupt himself with a moan when Chikage’s hips rolled just right and had his cock dragging along all the best spots.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Chikage shifted so Citron’s legs were wrapped around his hips instead. With his newfound space he traced patterns along Citron’s abdomen giving an indulgent grope to his chest and swiping his thumb against a hardened nipple. Soon his mouth and tongue were lavishing attention to the other nipple, Citron’s sounds spurring him on even more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    A hand fisted into his hair and tugged him up for a kiss. It had no elegance or skill to it. The only purpose to be as close and as intimate as possible. Feeling each moan directly sent more heat directly to Chikage’s dick. He was starting to lose his rhythm. Not wanting to finish first he snuck a hand down and stroked Citron’s member matching the pace of his hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    Citron separated their lips for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “Inside.” A gasp. “I want you to fill me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “You will be the death of me.” Was all Chikage got out before releasing for the second time that night. Citron followed soon after. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hand and hips didn’t slow until both he and Citron were twitching from overstimulation. Chikage was about to slip out but Citron stopped him before he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>    “I want to stay like this. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I need you.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Chikage slumped onto Citron and the other nuzzled into his neck pleased to get his way. Once again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chikage wouldn’t want it any other way. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>* Title is from a Loona song lol<br/>* Itaru had to sleep in Sakuya's room lmfao I'm sorry king<br/>* Citron has stated that saying "I need you" in his language is the gentleman's way of confessing but Chikage doesn't know that yet</p></blockquote></div></div>
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